To My Younger Self

I turn 36 on March 4. My dad said he could easily remember the date of my birth because it was a true command, as in march forth. He was in the National Guard & a bit goofy (still is).

This birthday puts me closer to 40 than 30. I remember when my parents turned 40 and how old that seemed to me then. How little I knew about age when I was 15! But I think I knew even less in my 20s. I was sure my 30s would be dull—all about taking care of the kids and everyday life events.

So far my 30s are far and away the best decade for me. I don’t know what that says since I have faced a divorce and unemployment these 6 years, but it is true. As I work with people who are the same age difference to my daughter as to me, I am constantly biting my lip to keep from saying “you don’t know yet.“

I have often wondered if I went back what would I tell myself? Here are a few:

1. You made the right choice to have your children young. You were in a stable position and if you’d waited you would have been struck by fibromyalgia and perhaps made a different decision. The world would not be the same without my two children in it.

2. You do not need to be a perfect parent to be a great one. I mess up all the time but I forgive myself quicker these days than when they were younger.

3. That nagging feeling? Figure it out, investigate it and fix the problem right away. Mulling on problems keeps them alive.

4. You do not have to give up what makes you happy to be a good wife and mother. Find out what makes you happy and keep doing it. Do not stop being you.

5. Work is NOT everything.

6. Happiness blooms inside you; do not seek it from without first. I have seen people make changes in their lives because they were unhappy; after the glow of the shiny new change dulls the unhappiness sets in again.

7. Second chances happen. Infinity goes in both directions, to quote one of my favorite shows “Bones.“ If it doesn’t work out, it will come around again. Be happy in whatever the moment you are in…you will have the chance to make your dreams come true again.

I’m looking forward to the next 4 years of my 30s. Age is less important than happiness. I can’t believe how quickly time has flown by…seize it and enjoy it now.