One Brick Short

The calls came fast and furious all day Sunday, from McCain and Clinton and Obama and some organization purporting to have nothing to do with Mike Huckabee but asking 45 seconds worth of rude political questions designed to turn any self-proclaimed conservative away from McCain.

Huckabee’s was first. The recorded voice-prompt led me along, asking if I planned to vote in Tuesday’s Repbulican primary (yes) and who did I prefer between McCain, Romney and Huckabee (McCain) and did I know ....

The laundry came out. If I knew that one candidate had always believed in building the Great Wall of America and harassing illegal immigrants, rounding them up and shipping them out of the country (my words, I guarantee you—their words were much prettier) would I vote for him rather than the candidate who would baby them and hold their hands and wipe their noses and try to teach them English (also my words, but the tone is similar)?

No.

Do I believe myself to be a fiscal conservative? (Yes.) Would I vote for the candidate who believes in cutting taxes for all individuals and not the candidate who supports looking at a budget and deciding if we can afford to cut taxes, in other words one who is not so beholden to political theory that he cannot look at the reality of the situation? (Again, my words—the survey’s prose was significantly slanted toward a favorable tax cut position.)

No.

By the end of the call, I had decided to vote for McCain just to tick off the morons that wasted my time with such a twisted phone screed. As for the Democrats, they were well behaved and reminded me to get out and vote and, they hoped, vote for their man or woman.

I promised to think about it. Tuesday’s vote has been committed but I have another vote coming up in November.

That one is up for grabs.