One Brick Short

Cell phones are slowing commuters at least two miles per hour on their trips to and from home, according to the A.P. in the D-P.

It seems that cell phones distract drivers and a distracted driver is a slower driver. He’s also an unpredictable driver, a nonattentive driver and a dangerous driver, but that makes no nevermind. There are other studies about that, this study is about speed.

The A.P. says that, if you commute an hour each day, you’ll be driving an extra 20 hours a year. That, of course, is if the distracted driver doesn’t plow into you on the road, causing you to spend an added hour or so trapped in your car while the moron finishes his phone call. (Manwhile, you should call 9-1-1 and then Marks and Harrison or the law firm of Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen and Allen to sue his sorry mass.)

The news isn’t all bad, though. All you have to do is extrapolate the fact that gas prices are supposed to rise as oil goes over a ton (biker talk for 100) dollars a barrel, pushing gas up to $4 a gallon. Remember that driving slower saves gas and, with gas prices going up, someone talking on a cell phone is actually saving you money.

Hey, look for good news whereever you can.