One Brick Short

Ah, the lunatic fringe: It’s officially 35 degrees and dark and early and I need to get my sorry asterisk down to the office to check traffic, put out fires and—when the Tubes of Internet smile—blog.

So I gather together my anti-hypothermia devices, push the Blast out of the car port, crank it up and run back inside to dress properly for the cold road to work.

First, I pull on my Tourmaster overpants, the protective gear I wear nearly every riding day all year long just to make sure I don’t lose skin off my legs should the rubber side flip up on me. I tug, slide, zip, snap, velcro and life is good. Then I put the liner inside my Firstgear travel jacket, snap down the sleeves and zip it in around all of the crash padding (see the pants comment) and put it on and zip it up.

Next comes the flag bandanna to keep wind from going down my jacket and freezing my neck. Then the scarf that helps keep wind and cold out of the helmet, sort of. Then the helmet. Then the glasses. Then come the thick, Thinsulate “Hypora” gloves to keep my fingers from freezing. Then I waddle like the illegitimate son of Chilly Willy and the Michelin Man out to the bike.

The only concern I have now is that I"m so insulated I can’t barely swing my leg over the bike and hardly move my arms. No problem, if I can get on the bike, I can ride it. All I need to do is move my hands and push the handlebars. Besides, it’s better to be warm than mobile.