One Brick Short

Things were pretty quiet over at The Commute, so I thought I’d slide out a quick e-mail to the mayor of Myrtle Beach.

You probably know Myrtle Beach. It’s a pretty happenin’ community down in South Carolina where there’s sand in your shoes and “shagging on the strand” has a whole different meaning than in most other areas of the country. Nice place with lots of neon, interesting entertainment establishments and some really decent seafood.

What you may, or may not know, is that Myrtle Beach was the home to a couple of motorcycle rallies every May that pretty much taxed the town’s resources and patience. First came the Carolina Harley-Davidson Dealers Association bike week with lots of parades and rallies and very loud motorcycles and such. Then came some less organized rallies with similar events. There also came drinking, fighting, noise and some violence and lots of motorcycle trailers parked on city streets taking up spaces.

Well, the good citizens were in an uproar and the city’s parents (fathers and mothers on the council, don’t you know) did something about it. They officially backed off the rallies and then passed a variety of ordinances aimed at things bikers hold near and dear.

They outlawed loud mufflers, “straight pipes,“ and revving engines and excessive noise. They passed a helmet law, although South Carolina has no statewide helmet requirement. They banned more than two motorcycles in a public parking space although at least four will fit. They made parties responsible for permitted or unpermitted special events that require an extraordinary public response to be held financially responsible for the cost of that response. In short, if you have a party and hell breaks loose, you pay for the services of the town’s own Hellboys to quell the demons.

They also banned parking or storage of trailers and oversize vehicles on the street and required the vehicles to be parked in approved parking or storage lots.

Well, the Harley folks got the idea and moved their rally to New Bern, NC. I don’t know what’s up with the other rallies, but no doubt they will move, too. As bikers are wont to do, some showed up to protest the ordinances and, of course, were immediately ticketed.

Then I read in my old newspaper, The Fayetteville Observer in NC, about the move to New Bern. In it, John Rhodes, the mayor of Myrtle said “please know that Myrtle Beach is not anti-biker or anti-motorcycle. We are ending the motorcycle-related rallies because they grew too big and lasted too long. The huge rallies even kept visitors away from Myrtle Beach, and that’s not good.“

I disagree with one part. I think the ordinances prove the city is anti-motorcyclist and, especially anti-biker. The ordinances were designed to discourage riders from riding in. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong that. If you don’t want motorcyclists in town, pass laws to keep them out. If you don’t like people driving big Road Maggots—huge recreation vehicles—pass anti-RV parking laws.

I just didn’t like the idea that the mayor was saying the city wasn’t against bikers when the evidence proved otherwise. So, I e-mailed him, courtesy of the city’s manager, being as the mayor’s e-mail wasn’t on the city’s Web site.

“Please tell Mr. Rhodes ... that it is perfectly fine to admit that the city doesn’t want motorcyclists within its limits. Tell him it’s proper and right to stand up and say “we do not want you or your kind or the trouble that follows you.“ As an avid, everyday motorcyclist who commutes, travels, works and recreates on his motorcycle and has been a part of different cultures within motorcycling, I will respect him for his honesty.“

I think I also told him to tell the mayor that saying one thing when your actions speak another is disrespecting himself and me. Oh, I also said that I have limited resources and will be sure not to spend them in Myrtle Beach where my ilk aren’t wanted. The last thing I need is ride into The Beach and have the local officers follow me around, listening to my exhaust and waiting for me to forget a turn signal so they can write me for reckless driving or tow me for parking three-to-a-space.

I don’t need the pressure, dude.

Naturally, I fully expected to be blown off as a crank. Within a few minutes, however, there was an incoming in my Outlook. The manager, Mr. Leath, wrote back. Hmm, seems I’m not the only one with odd hours.

Mr. Leath promised to forward the e-mail, said the mayor stood by his comments about not being anti-biker and wished me to have a good time riding. He was polite. He responded quickly. He made me feel like my voice, as far away as it was, counted. It was almost enough to make me change my mind about visiting just so I could ride down there and say thanks and invite him out to Hardees for a chocolate malt.

I stopped short of that, however. I invited him to Charlottesville, instead. If I get a ticket here, it’s because of what I did, not what I drive.