One Brick Short

Cold is as cold does and cold will kill you, especially if you mix it with stupidity or alcohol or both.

Across the north, school systems have closed so that kids don’t have to hang at bus stops for 30 minutes in -20 degree weather, especially because many refuse to wear proper clothing ... it’s cool to be cold.

At the last count, five folks have moved on to the next cosmic plane as the result of Winter’s Icy Grip reaching around their necks and embracing their bodies.

According to The Great Font of Wisdom, also known as the Associated Press, a 37-year-old Illinois man was found dead Thursday in the snow outside his home in Normal. He wore nary a coat, hat or gloves but was fortified with plenty of alcohol, according to preliminary tests. A 50-year-old Michigan man froze to death after locking himself out of his duplex and apparently being too polite to break a window.

Earlier in the week, a Wisconsin man froze to death after he apparently sleepwalked (sleptwalked?) out the door in bare feet. Authorities suspect he had also been drinking before his body was found Tuesday.

In St. Paul, Minn., a 77-year-old man was found dead outside his home Tuesday morning—when it was 14 degrees below zero. Officials said the man used a walker; it wasn’t clear whether he slipped and fell. Also in St. Paul, a 70-year-old Arizona man who was apparently living in a car died at a hospital after he was found Wednesday morning.

Note to self: Stay sleepless in St. Paul, even if you have to find an all-night coffee shop or park the tush at a Winchell’s Donut Shop.

Bottom line kiddies is that cold can kill. Keep warm, dress in layers and drink warming fluids like hot water. And for crying out loud, kid, put a coat on, will ya?