One Brick Short

I have mercilessly mocked many religious oddities and weirdos throughout the years, despite the fact that I personally practice a bizarre combination of United Methodism and Chinese mysticism, and one of my targets has been His Holiness Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the illustrious sage of the Vedic Tradition of India.

The sage died yesterday at 7 p.m. European time at his international headquarters in Vlodrop, The Netherlands, according to his people.

“Maharishi’s work is complete. He has done what he set out to do in 1957—to lay the foundation for a peaceful world. Now, Maharishi is being welcomed with open arms into Heaven,” said Maharaja Adhiraj Rajaraam in a press release.

Maharaja Rajaraam, a name that will flummox spell check, is the first ruler of the Global Country of World Peace, the Maharishi’s global educational organization. The group is trying to bring peace to the world through positive thinking, meditation and the elimination of negative thoughts and behaviors.

Yeah, it sounds crazy, but so does bringing peace to the world through using retarded people as bombs in crowded marketplaces, recruiting as hired guns and killers 14-year-old boys with enough testosterone to power Lake Anna’s nuke plant and invading countries led by criminal despots, providing those countries have large stores of oil.

So here’s the man’s accomplishments in a nutshell: He inspired research on the society-wide benefits of Transcendental Meditation and trained more than five million people in the practice. Any time you can turn off your brain, it’s a good thing and no harm done.

“Maharishi established the practice of group meditation and inspired research on its society-wide influence. This led to the groundbreaking discovery that consciousness is a field, and that by enlivening unity within this field, collective meditation effectively prevents crime and defuses social stress—including the acute religious, political and ethnic tensions that fuel violence and social conflict,” said Dr. John Hagelin, world-renowned quantum physicist and Executive Director of the International Center for Invincible Defense.

Dr. Hagelin once ran for U.S. president on the Natural Law Party ticket. I voted for him. Says less about him than me. He didn’t win, of course. Getting my vote is the kiss of death.

“This society-wide effect, known in the scientific literature as the Maharishi Effect, has been confirmed by over 50 studies—many published in leading, peer-reviewed scientific journals. It provides an extremely practical approach to preventing and alleviating conflict, preventing terrorism, strengthening national security and invincibility, and even stopping open warfare in war-torn areas,” said Dr. Hagelin, who also serves as the Raja of Invincible America.

The man wears many hats. All at once, too. You should see him on the talk shows late at night.

One achievement heralded by Maharishi’s people is his integration of “Vedic science with the latest discoveries of modern science.” Working in collaboration with the world’s leading scientists, led by Dr. Hagelin, “Maharishi revealed that the fundamental field of consciousness—Atma, the Self, as described in Vedic science—is identical to the Unified Field described by the superstring theories of physics.”

Wow.

“And working under Maharishi’s direct guidance, Maharaja Adhiraj Rajaraam was awarded his weight in gold for his scientific discovery that the Unified—the total managing intelligence of the universe—is at the basis of the human brain physiology. This discovery has revealed that the individual is really cosmic, and has opened the possibility for everyone to enliven the hidden, inner intelligence of one’s own physiology and realize one’s cosmic potential,” the yogi’s people said.

Weight in gold, eh? That’s enough to make me go cosmic.

“This extraordinary convergence of modern and ancient knowledge, and the emergent practical technologies, has immediate and profound benefits to virtually every field of human concern,” Dr. Hagelin said.

Careful, Dr. Hagelin, you’ll get my vote again.

“Maharishi has worked tirelessly since 1955 to open the gate of enlightenment to every individual, and to crown every nation with invincibility—with peace, prosperity and happiness, free from negativity and suffering,” said Dr. Bevan Morris, Prime Minister of the Global Country of World Peace and President of Maharishi University of Management in Iowa, USA.

These guys have great job titles. Keep President Bush away from them, though. We don’t need Cosmic Goddess of the Purple Sage Condi Rice roaming about the Middle East.

Dr. Benjamin Feldman, Minister of Finance and Planning of the Global Country of World Peace, said that Maharishi has brought the gift of affluence to the world. “Maharishi’s knowledge of Total Natural Law unlocks the source of all prosperity and progress for the individual and society. With this knowledge, nothing harmful will ever come to the country and every nation will enjoy in a permanent state of integration, harmony, and positivity—invincibility.”

Please, God, let it be true.

According to his people, three weeks ago, on January 11, Maharishi publicly announced that he would be “retiring into silence,” and said he was “closing his designed duty” to his spiritual master, Guru Dev. “I can only say, ‘Live long the world in peace, happiness, prosperity, and freedom from suffering.’”

He then gave the reins of his global movement to the “capable leadership” of Maharaja Adhiraj Rajaraam, reportedly a world-renowned neuroscientist who has never run for U.S. president but probably would have received my vote if he had.

His people said Maharishi’s decision to retire was inspired by news that more than enough experts have now been trained in his peace-creating technologies of consciousness to raise any nation to invincibility and secure peace and prosperity for the world—and that his global organization is now in place to maintain this peace permanently.

In his farewell message on January 11, Maharishi announced the establishment of the Brahmananda Saraswati Trust, named in honor of his teacher, Guru Dev, to support large groups totaling more than 30,000 peace-creating Vedic Pandits in perpetuity across India.

“The Brahmananda Saraswati Trust will ensure the glorification of life on earth on a permanent basis, for the individual and the nation. For all millennia to come, the world is going to be a peaceful, happy world. The future is bright—and that is my delight,” Maharishi said.

Let us pray it is so, kind sir. And thank you for trying.

Thanks for this entry.  Maharishi Mahesh Yogi’s vision, effort, and knowledge make him worthy of recognition and celebration.  Abstract as it might be, his message of expanding consciousness to improve life - individually and societally - is absolutely legitimate.  I am happy and proud to have learned from him.

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