Upon Further Review

I’m not going to bore you with deep thoughts on Riverheads’ trip to Buffalo Gap on Friday night.

No sir. No how.

I’m not going to spin yarns about how, after talking to more ex players for these two teams that I ever imagined (and, let me point out, how good it was to hear from these guys over e-mail) has proven to me what they’ve said all along: Yes, this is the best high school football rivalry in the state of Virginia.

No sir. Not here.

I’m not going to throw out the usual doses of respect that every football fan should have for the Future Mayor of Greenville Robert Casto.

Nope. Sorry. Look elsewhere.

I’m not going to throw out the usual doses of respect that every football fan should have for Robert Maxwell.

Nope. Sorry. Not gonna do it.

I won’t tell you that, if you hope to even sniff the football field Friday, you’ll probably have to be sitting in the Gap parking lot around 3:30 tomorrow.

You know that already.

I’m not going to tell you what’s at stake in this game.

This, of course, you know already as well.

I’m not going to guess who is going to win. Nor will I guess who is going to lose. Nor will I guess how many times Casto and Maxwell will smile during the contest. I won’t “get in your ear” about the football history these two schools have. I won’t do that. You know already. And, sorry, I won’t insult your intelligence. (You are, after all, Shenandoah District fans. Not fans of your big-city counterparts the Southern Valley DoesStink.)

I won’t tell you how both teams won’t change a thing.

I’ll refrain from “giving you the straight dope” that Buffalo Gap is going to run Pickle Nuckols a lot.

I won’t “spill the beans” on how Michael Johnson will see a carry or two.

Nor will I “let the cat out of the bag” that Cory Sandridge and Demetrius Younger will probably see their fair share of touches.

I won’t “give you the scoop” on how the Gap defense is going to pack it in the box eight tight.

I won’t “break the bank” and tell you how Riverheads won’t be changing a thing.

I won’t throw a quote your way, you know, so it looks like I actually did work, from Robert Casto that says as much.

So, thankfully for you, you won’t read, “We don’t need to tell the players about Michael [Johnson] or Pickle [Nuckols],“ from Casto. “They know who they are. Our players have played against them for the past 10 years.“

Nope. Sorry. You won’t get to read that.

We won’t tell you how exciting the game will be.

We won’t tell you how big of a crowd will be there.

We won’t tell you any of that.

Lucky you.

Now, there’s your big game blog. So shaddaup and get out there.

We will tell you, however, that is a decision you won’t regret.