Upon Further Review

If anybody can think of a more fitting way for Wilson Memorial to earn a state-tournament berth than watching Kala Guy slap down a crater-making kill for match point, then e-mail me and tell me what it should have been?

And, no, I’m not kidding. Because that was the only way for the Green Hornets to score a state berth. That was the only way this team should have thrilled its home-gym fans Thursday. That was the only way any fan of Wilson Memorial volleyball would have liked to seen it. Right? Right. Good.

Let’s move on.

Hey, look at Noel Bartley.

Seriously, it’s Game 4 and the Green Hornets are stuck at 21. Meanwhile, the Nelson County Governors have gone on a five-point run to cut the lead to 21-15. It was a run that featured two errors by Wilson Memorial and this crazy kill attempt by Tiffany Crosby that looked more like she was trying to lay-in a basketball than hammer home a kill. Which is probably why it ended up in the net and sparked new life into the Govs and their hootin-rollerin’ good time fan base.

Bartley is set up on the Hornets’ next possession and does it the only way it should be done — a monster kill. That was the end of the run for the Govs.

End. Of. The. Run.

Hey, looks like those Game 2 blues for Wilson are a dead issue. I’m just saying.

Hey, look at Tiffany Crosby.

The senior pockmarks the gym floor with a kill, then gives an old-fashioned stare down through the net toward the Govs, screams and hops back a few steps with her hands up near her chest and giving a thumb-up. Seriously folks, she looked like some green-clad, female version of the Fonz.

Already feel old? “That’s was a great Fonz impression, Tiffany.“ Silence from Crosby, Guy and Bartley.

“Um, you guys know who the Fonz is right?“ More silence.

“OK, here’s my notepad and tape recorder. Can someone drive me to the old-folks home now.“

Hey, look at Kim Claytor. Getting all teary-eyes and quivering-mouthed after Wilson Memorial’s 3-1 win, you know, the win that scores them a state berth. Here’s a coach who’s raspy voice you can hear yelling at those girls from the highest of rafters when they’re not playing well. Here’s a coach that uses yellow cards and arguing bad calls to fire her girls up. Here’s a coach that thrust her fist in the air, did a little dipsy-doo twist before joining the girls on the court after the win. Here’s a coach and cried at the mere thought of going to the state tournament with this team.

Her team.

Her girls.

Lock. The. Thread.

And another thing: There are plenty of things you can expect when it comes to football in Augusta County. Let’s go through a few of them, shall we:

Robert Casto is going to have a good football team. (Again, if this guy ran for Mayor Of Greenville, his win would make Obama’s landslide look like mere child’s play.)

Rob Maxwell is going to be low-key on the sidelines.

Derek McDaniel will coach just like Derek McDaniel was coached when he played.

Steve Isaacs is going to run the single wing.

No matter how good his team is, Dave Tibbs’ Leemen are going to be under a microscope as anybody looks for anything wrong with them. (Not much this year, folks.)

Those mouth-breathing fans are going to call for Dale Spitzer’s head at Fort Defiance, no matter how may games he wins for them.

So, yeah, these are the kind of things you expect. So what do you never expect? How about Stuarts Draft’s Rod Bowers dropping a Milli Vanilli reference?

“Anyone can be like Milli Vanilli and have a one-hit wonder, but if you want your program to develop down the path you envision, making the playoffs is a big part of that,“ Bowers said. “It’s like a present at the end of the season, but it validates what our philosophy is . . . our philosophy is different than most teams. This just proves that it’s truth and not fallacy.“

(Applause ... Applause)

Somebody buy Bowers a Fresca and the next coach that can get Men Without Hats into the newspaper wins a case of that fine citrus beverage.

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