Thanks for the heads up, Fort Defiance
If the inaugural season of the Southern Valley DoesStink has taught us anything it’s that, yeah, this district does stink. It’s a sham of a district run by a group of knuckleheads that couldn’t give two licks about the kids that wear the school colors with pride and go out there and try to win for either one of the five schools that call this glorified mental institution home.
What other district can’t figure out how the heck to schedule basketball games? What other district is led by a group of athletic directors and principals that could care less about the athletes they suck dry for the money they can make off them? Sure, a lot of districts want to make money off high school athletics. Heck, the Virginia High School League doesn’t see names or faces, only dollar signs. But nobody, and I mean nobody, in any other district in the state makes it as obvious as this group.
Some of their greatest misses? A roll call of stupidity? Oh yeah, we got them.
(Meanwhile, in breaking news, legendary R.E. Lee basketball coach Paul Hatcher continues to run a basketball camp. You know, the same camp he’s taught an adoring group of Staunton kids since the Teapot Dome Scandal broke.)
How about the grand puba of Giantdom, Mel Morris, telling this newspaper we would not be allowed to go to volleyball practice to write a story about a once mighty program struggling through its first losing season. Ever.
Hey, Mel. That’s called sports news, it’s something most newspapers tend to write about. (Most, I said.) All Morris’ iron-curtain tactic did was cut the legs out from a quality first-year coach, Lori Aleshire, and make the program look like it had something to be embarrassed about. The Giants more-than-a-decade-long run of above .500 finishes isn’t the norm, it’s the exception. So, Mel, what the heck was the problem with us talking to a group of girls who had pride in the program so they can tell us that, yeah, they’re going to get better as time goes on? Exactly, nothing wrong.
Sigh, the Southern Valley DoesStink.
(Meanwhile, in breaking news, someone on their day off sat on his couch in front of the TV and watched the Belmont Stakes. Yeah, thanks for that, guy.)
Or how about this cornball cadre of “leaders” totally inept basketball scheduling. While the supposed country, “Podunk” schools (that’s the Shenandoah, folks. Or as I like to call it, “The Way High School Sports Should Be”) can figure out that you don’t play the boys and girls Riverheads against Buffalo Gap games at different sites on the same night because, well, that’s just stupid, the big-boy Group AA schools in the area couldn’t figure it out.
So what did they do? They forced two games with first place on the line (that would be the Waynesboro vs. R.E. Lee games) to be played on the same night at different sites like they did all season. More people went to watch the Waynesboro boys lose to Lee than showed up at R.E. Lee to watch the Little Giant girls secure first place in a rivalry so intense they recommended that people with heart problems not show up. And trust us, it could have lived up to that billing.
Sigh, the Southern Valley DoesStink.
(Meanwhile, in breaking news, the Lakers against Celtics NBA Finals will be, wait for it, wait for it, exciting. Wow. Ya’ think?)
Speaking of the Little Giants, how about the girls basketball coaches in this district shunning the undefeated SV season that Waynesboro coach Secrett Stubblefield led that team to. She would continue to lead this team all the way to the Group AA Final Four where they lost to a Hidden Valley team that featured two future Division I players. Yet, because she didn’t show up to the district meeting, was not named coach of the year. Really, guys? Are you trying to be that elitist that you’ll shun a coach and prove why she probably didn’t go to the meeting in the first place. You know, kind of like you shunned Waynesboro senior Shawnte Woodson off the first team despite her solid numbers. And don’t tell me you didn’t vote for her because she didn’t show up. A few ex coaches told us that’s exactly what they would have done as well. Nice. Real nice.
Sigh, the Southern Valley DoesStink.
(Meanwhile, in breaking news, a 10-year-old kid’s favorite movie is “Angels in the Outfield.“ Wow. Thanks for the information. Did you have to use the Freedom of Information Act for that? Just asking.)
It’s a five-team district that dumps the last-place team out of the district basketball and volleyball tournaments. It’s a district that saw Rockbridge slap the girls soccer program in the face by forcing it to lose a home match against Waynesboro, something that would never happen in football or one of the “money” sports. It’s a district that just can’t get it right.
And, this week, one school in this district proved, once and for all, that it’s not about the athletes. It’s about the good ol’ boys in charge by dumping 14-year wrestling coach Terry Waters, a guy that wrestlers called a role-model and a member of their family. Why? Well, he didn’t get along with the good ol’ boys, he rocked the boat. He produced champions and competitors on the state level while their programs can barely get out of this five-team district.
Someday we’ll thank Fort Defiance and the colony of jellyfish in charge. Because all they did was prove this week that yes, the DoesStink well, stinks. And it’s time to give it an enema.
And, to steal a line Bret “The Hitman” Hart used to describe Pittsburgh, thanks to Fort, we now know where they ought to stick the tube.
