Aunt Beulah and Uncle Bob just got back from their annual Southland tour.

Every August, they rev up their 30-year-old simulated wood paneled motor home with the faded yellow awning and go down south for what Aunt Beulah calls a “second honeymoon.” Their kids are spread out from New York to California and they have kids of their own so they don’t get home too often. Aunt Beulah and Uncle Bob have been taking this so-called “second honeymoon” for close to a quarter century. And every year the process is the same. Aunt Beulah calls everybody together for a bring-a-dish supper and shows off all her snapshots while Uncle Bob drinks Old Milwaukee beer and smokes Marlboros.

So last Saturday we all got together at their house near Antioch Baptist Church to see Beulah’s wonders and listen to Bob complain.
Stepping from the August heat and humidity into their house is like walking into an ice box. Aunt Beulah likes it cold and the four window unit air conditioners that protrude from each of her four front windows produce plenty of chilly air.

“I feel like a daggone Eskimo Pie in here,” Uncle Bob complained. “That woman oughta retire to a glacier.”

Uncle Bob has never liked the “pretend air” that the window units produce. He says it is unhealthy and makes his bad knees ache.
“It ain’t bad in here,” Aunt Beulah insisted as she passed out afghans to the younger family members who were watching a Disney tape in the den.

We all stuffed our faces with good country cooking and just about the time we wanted to take naps, Aunt Beulah brought out close to 15 packages of photographs. We all spread out in the living room at close arm’s length so we could carefully take each photograph from the relative beside us, view it, and then pass it along to the next in line without damaging the memories.
“Now this one here is of Bob and me at Graceland,” Aunt Beulah began. “My favorite thing was seein’ all of Elvis’ gold records.”
“My favorite thing was seein’ the back door,” Uncle Bob said. “I’ve never seen so many weirdoes in all my life. Beulah was right at home.”
“Here’s Bob and I in front of a fruit stand in Arkansas. Watermelons were as big as a calf.”

“Beulah just had to have one,” Uncle Bob moaned. “While I was carryin’ that calf-sized melon up the steps into the motor home, it slipped out of my hands and landed square on my big toe. Besides all the mess, I was sure I broke my big toe. The pain still keeps me up at night.”

“And I just love this one here,” Aunt Beulah continued. “It’s of me standing on the gracious front porch of Beauvoir, the Jefferson Davis Shrine off Highway 90 in Biloxi, Mississippi. We toured the house, the museums, the library, the Confederate Veteran’s Cemetery and the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier of the C.S. A. I have never felt closer to my Southern roots.”

“My toe was hurtin’ bad right about then,” Bob painfully reminisced.

“Here I am in front of Ann Rice’s house in New Orleans,” Aunt Beulah went on. “She’s that author who wrote all those novels about vampires. I don’t read her stuff, because I’m easily spooked, but it was interesting all the same.”

“Hotter than hell it was,” Bob complained as he took a long drag off his cigarette. “Had to change my shirt three times that day.”
“And here’s a snapshot of me stepping onto the streetcar named Desire. You know, like that Tennessee Williams’ play with Blanche Dubois and Stanley and Stella. Vivien Leigh and Marlon Brando played in the movie version. It was so excitin’.”
“It was hot. Real hot,” Bob complained. “As for that Tennessee Williams’ fella—never understood his stuff. It was all a bunch of rantin’ and raidin’. ‘Nough of that in real life without havin’ to pay to see it in a theater.”

“And here’s my favorite photo of all,” Beulah glowed. “Here I am standin’ in front of Mercer House in Savannah. That’s where that famous murder happened. Some socialite named Jim Williams’ shot a very, very close friend of his. It was all played out in the movie Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. I haven’t seen it yet, but it was very exciting all the same. Mercer House is for sale you know. Quite a few millions, I heard.”
“Yeah,” Bob added. “I’m gonna turn in all them aluminum cans I’ve been collecting in the barn. Oughta be enough.”
Aunt Beulah went on and on and on. We smiled and yawned and ate more dessert and listened to her excellent adventures while Uncle Bob followed each of her wondrous descriptions with his own less than wondrous comments and a sip from his can of Old Milwaukee.
After about an hour or so of looking at photos of Aunt Beulah smiling and Uncle Bob frowning in front of Southern landmarks, our eyelids were getting heavy and our lips were turning blue form all the frigid “pretend air.” 

“And here’s the last one,” Aunt Beulah announced to a relieved crowd. “Here I am standing in front of a portion of Dismal Swamp. It was so peaceful there.”

“Of course it was,” Uncle Bob smirked. “There wasn’t anybody there except idiots like you and me. The mosquitoes were terrible. They were as big as buzzards and were biting like Dobermans.”

“As you can tell, Bob and I had a marvelous time. It was our best trip yet.”

“And our last one,” Bob added. “A pack of wild dogs couldn’t drag me out of here next year.”
But we all knew we would be repeating the snapshot viewing again next year.
We all left about the same time with empty Pyrex dishes and Tupperware. Hugs and kisses were distributed among the relatives. As I started the car, I couldn’t help but think about how Uncle Bob and Aunt Beulah have been bantering and bickering back and forth since Eisenhower was in office. One might wonder why they’ve stayed together for so long. But it is important to remember that love comes in all shapes and sizes and moods and attitudes and we don’t always have to understand the bond that holds some couples together.
As I pulled from the driveway onto the road in front of their house, I couldn’t help but smile as my uncle took my aunt’s hand and escorted her up the front steps into the “pretend air” almost as if they were actually having a “second honeymoon.” 

We may not always have the ability to figure out the quirks of our family members, but it sure is nice that in a world of constant change, there are still some things that remain strong and steadfast. Even more comforting is the fact that they can be found right within the boundaries of our own families.