Fluffy’s Findings:

1. The can of cat food will not open by itself no matter how much I yowl at it.
2. Never drink out of the toilet, fall in, and then go to the clumping cat litter.
3. Storing mice recently caught in the bathtub is not a favorite of humans.
4. Cats’ ears are very sensitive when humans screech loudly.
5. Fluffing your body really full after your human has watched a scary movie is FUNNNNY!
6. Being mean to the vet tech gets you branded for life in your file as “Watch” and “Mean.”
7. I’m not sure what a lawyer is, but apparently biting their children is not a good thing.
8. Giving a toy mouse as a present to your human is much more acceptable than a real one.
9. Giving a real mouse to your human is really FUNNNNY!
10. Playing with the pet hamster is against the rules.
11. Having a pet hamster and a cat in the same house is cruel and unusual punishment.
12. Humans have many faults and need to have a cat to keep them in line.

Fido’s Findings:

1. Chasing squirrels when the porch door window is closed is not a good thing.
2. Do not chase the cat through the cat door when all that fits through is your head.
3. Do not bring poopsicle presents to your human—they will not be appreciated.
4. Chasing the cat is not healthy for your nose.
5. Cats laugh, really they do, I swear. My nose hurt and she laughed!
6. Dropping a wet ball in your human’s lap usually gets it thrown.
7. Humans say “ewwww” when you give them a wet ball.
8. Humans say “eeeeck” when you give them a wet nose after a shower.
9. Playing tug-of-war with my human’s socks as they are putting them on is forbidden.
10. Running around with my human’s underwear in the backyard is also forbidden.
11. Humans are no fun sometimes.
12. Humans give me food, love, and attention, so it’s a good idea to put up with their many faults.

Wonder what our cats and dogs will learn in 2012. Have a safe and happy New Year!